Corporations are People, my friend... TRILOGY

Put together in a collector's set for the first time, the "Corporations are people, my friend..." Trilogy is here for you. Read and share again and again, or just right now. Thank you for your interest!.

I. Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations

Corporations are people, my friend...  Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations

All people start out as children, and children usually enjoy bedtime stories to help them think about life and how to guide them as they grow up. Lessons are shared, to take into their dreams as they lay themselves down to rest. If, as Mitt Romeny declares, corporations are people, why should they not get their own bed time stories to help shape them into the people (corporations) they aspire to be? Below is a sample of list of corporation bedtime stories for the young ones.

 

Jack and the Bank Stock - FABLE

Young Jack starts with some magical seed money and watches a bank stock grow and grow, climbing along it until he arrives in the land of economic giants. There he finds a goose that lays golden tax loop eggs in off-shore accounts. Then Jack sees all the other riches at his disposal and runs from country club to golf course, brothel to Mitt fund raisers. But the singing harp must be stolen and saved from all the Giant Regulators who would have the harp singing to them. Follow Jack to see if he gets out of this one by running for President and learning how to change all the rules in his favor.

 

Good-Bye Moon - by Market-Wise Green

Every night, just like most children, juvenile corporations must learn to say good night, as practice for later exercises in saying good bye. This cheerful book helps corporations to say good bye to everyday things without worrying about where they go. "Good bye, Social Security," "Good bye, Unemployment," "Good bye, Health Care," and "Good bye, 47% of voters who won't vote for corporations or their puppets." But don’t stop there, Good bye, mountain tops, Good bye Gulf, Good bye clean air, Good bye endangered species…these are just a few of the fun Good Byes young corporations begin learning about. Come read this book to see more of the darling Good byes juvenile corporations practice leaving behind before sleeping peacefully.

 

One Slip, Two Slip, Pink Slip, Blue Slip - Dr. Sous

All grown up corporations know that firing people is one of the powers given to them when they have employees. This story is like an early game to help young corporations normalize the rejection they will one day force upon hundreds, if not thousands of people during their successful corporate lives. Who will get these slips? Let's see: Some are glad and some are sad and some are very, very bad. Some will travel near, some will travel far, by bus or boat or even car. But where there're from or where they be, is not important, you will see. We’ll watch them come, we see them go, but most of all we watch them blow, fast or slow, high or low, they’re only there to make us glow. And when we’re done we toss them out. And that’s what slips are all about. .

Little Boy Blue Collar & Other Nursery Rhymes

Little Boy Blue Collar come blow your horn, we’ve had whistleblowers before in our corn. Discredit, discredit, discredit, lie, lie, lie by the time the dust settles, they’ll be motes in your eye. Where is the regulator who looks after the sheep, he’s counting his money then going to sleep.

Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his workers could eat no lean, and so between the two of them, Jack got a corporate lawyer to keep him in the green.

Hey didde-diddle the corporation and the fiddle, inflation jumped over the moon. The stockholders laughed to see such a sport and the CEO ran away with the silver spoon.

 

‘Twas the Night Before Outsourcing

Twas the night before outsourcing, and all through the place,

Not a dollar was stirring, not even its face.

The stocks were all hung on the vault wall with care, in hope the CEO soon would be there. 

The workers were nestled at home in their beds, with visions of paychecks that hug in their heads. The Veeps in their neckties, the secretaries in their heels, were leaving their parties with vodka and squeals.

When out of an elevator there arose such a clatter, surveillance cameras tuned in to record the whole matter. .Follow along with the antics of this story as St. Nick comes in to determine who has been naughty and nice…

 

Sleeping Bane Corporation

At a gathering of investors, ready to christen the new-born corporation, it was discovered that one very important, and very mean, investor had mistakenly been left off the list of invitees. When he arrived, he was filled with wrath and ready to lay a curse on little Sleeping Bane. “One day, a stranger will come along, and using only his Mitt, he will cause sleeping Bane to be fingered by a prick and fall into disrepute.” With smoke and noxious bad-breath gases, the investor left his curse and the others worried about the ill-fate that might befall this newest, little infant corporation. Read all about how the Mitt showed up and fulfilled the curse. Would Sleeping Bane ever recover? Would true love be able to save it from complete embarrassment and unethical behavior?

 

Other Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations Coming Soon:

Goldilocks and the 3 Hostile Take-Overs, 

• Corporations Poo, too. A Potty-Training Book for Toddler Corporations
• Little Corporation on the Prairie
• Horton Hears a Loop-Hole
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stock

 

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2.  When corporations become people

They Are
               or They Are Not

                                          and Then

                                                        They're Something Else

They use masks and make-up to conceal their earned faces

    Poo poo- pouting at themselves  <O>

                                                                <O> When they face the mirror

 

seeing they can never really hide

                                              the sneer lines, veining into contempt lines

                                                                                           veining into haughtiness pockets

                                                                                                                           depressed into their eyes

                                                                                         sharing vile celebrations of successful wrongs

                                           that etched history into their worldly countenance

     like the lines

 

tangling their brain paths

in and out of lies and truths

And understanding no real value

Or difference between the two.

The grown-up, agreed upon cultural lie

                                                       Starts with the Santa Lie

                                                                               Good things come from beyond

                                                                                                                                                       After Judging you

                         So Santa  judges them as so good that Santa rained toys upon them

a n d                         k i n d -uh                                                                             f o r g o t    most        kids.

They wanted to be at the CENTER of the SANTA CLUB, TOO.

They pounce upon one another’s pallets with delectable sweetness, in beautifully crafted pastries

Surrounding

Themselves

With social agreements

Not to shatter the illusion.

Do they know who they are, after they’ve crafted their illusions

Corrupting delusions of fairness and goodness

                                                                                                      Where their rules say they always win

Where they need losers to   d   r  a   i   n .

“The cosmetically deformed dancing to their overproduction”

There are many to feed.

Such is the response to calls for accountability -
“Not it. I’m rubber, you’re glue.”

Their first mistake was to forget that we can still see them

and the debased cookie crumbs

Still skirting their mouths

Stinking of their vices

While they play games
with living pieces

Today

  ----------------------------------------------And cumulatively

W h i l e    p l a n n i g    f o r    o u r    f u t u r e s .

 

And we count ourselves

At least blessed

In having a door

To close and open

At our discretion.

Truth or Lie.

We choose.

 

We don’t have to play with them.

 

VOTE

 

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3. If Corporations WERE people - Their Townhall Meeting

“Corporations are people, my friend…” Crazy as it sounds... But, what if they were? Could they have a say in passing laws to guarantee their rights to civil unions? Would they ever break off in factions of adolescent corporations questioning the smug, bloated wealth of their parents, rebelliously, or would they fall in line and take those extra-curricular off-shore-banking accounting courses? Would they be in favor of charter schools  to further segregationist ideals or would they work for peace in the community, cleaving to Anti-Trust laws just to get back at their parents? I think you know. Share this sneak peek into a townhall meeting that might occur in one such reality and hear for yourself how they banter about each of their biggest concerns:

Donald, Inc.: It is my firm belief that the words, “You’re fired,” are among the most sexually charged words that could ever be spoken by our kind. It demonstrates the type of exaggerated and exalted entitlements possible, awarding the prowess of power while cropping piddly-paychecks of broken and disillusioned people into historical references in a pile of paperwork (begging for the illusion of food entitlements that can be held up for up to 45 days.) It is efficient, it diminishes consumer options, helping to drive up the price for everyone else. It’s a win-win solution for all of us here tonight. I know business! <<slams fist down powerfully on desk despite large stoned pinky ring>> It runs in my golden veins!

Mitt, Inc.: Well, you can worry about any segment of the market if you want, but I deal in high-end consumerism and that means that at least 47% of that market is dead to me anyway. Another significant percentage will spend beyond their limits, allowing us to accrue necessary business tax write-offs, gut their assets, decimate their community and still make "T-off" by 4:00. If we take this route, we can be more certain that we will keep our money from supporting any government that might have the balls to try to tie corporate hands. We did, after all, rise to the top of this coffee like the cream we are! <<secretly, and all the while, wanting to get home where he could belch and scratch freely, wanting to be away from annoying and fictitious corporate courtesy. A weasel who would backstab and eat his own kind as easily as he chews them and spits them out.>>

Sara, Inc.: First of all, I would like to offer embarrassing discussions about the vagina that will deepen the taboo on conversations about “legitimate” rape and the murder of unborn American consumers and labor workers. We won’t want them to live as well as us, (I mean, how could they) but we never intended to get rid of all of them. Who will wash my dishes and cut my grass? No, no, sillies, let's be mavericky about it. So far, our plans are only to roust out the red people that came with the land we got by clever coupe’. They keep aggravating us about silly things like pipe lines and wild life. I mean, what good is wild life if you can’t eat it or make a coat and muffs out of them? Or, who could hate pipes when there are so many profits running through them? I like riding in helicopters, shooting wolves, and looking at Russia from my back porch, so I don’t have time for too much more chit-chat. I might just quit …

Ryan, Inc.: <<putting on chef’s hat>> I like what’s cooking right now. We have confusion and mayhem over guns laws, civil union blocking, and a possible overturn of the 1965 Civil Rights Act. <<putting on military uniform hat>> VICTORY! The War is Over! But the profits from overseas arms treaties are going to pay for my next “slumming excursion” so I can prove that I can say, “100% for the cameras.” Wash that plate, lift that bale-out! ha ha ha hiccup! <<Putting on Jason Hockey Mask, eyes still narrowing behind it to scare himself for effect>> If we can keep on the happy mask until the last minute, they don’t see us coming when we wear our Halloween masks. We can declare a code RED and ... well, red, and we can gouge freedom so much more and we can KILL KILL KILL progress under the Black President. <<raising a pirate binocular to his eye” I can see the future, and we already won the election.

Murdock, Inc.: OK, all that is well and good, people, but we still have to destroy a Black President and you are all sitting around and talking about party games. I had to throw a going away party for a big chunk of my assets and I am still waiting for the fucking return! In reality, we must be willing to lose some money, billions and billions of Dr. Evil seed money. We have to burn holes into the pockets of crooked politicians so we can plant some good news or bad news depending on their compliance ratio. We know who we bankroll, but it is our silent, evil mob right to present as little information as possible about it. I want to get some pizza. Call citizen Schnattner, Inc. and see if we wants to do another busines promotion to only us again...a private show that comes with nude women, inc. who will jump out of a cake... <<psyche! I'm only saying that to tempt Mitt, Inc. into another crazy publicity stunt that will stop people from asking questions about what he was doing behind closed doors with Israel's Kinnessett, or if his dog really shit all over the car beause of the turkey he stole off the counter or if it was over the latest public poll on the guy bankrolling his way of life in his crate from the top of his strange and scary rolling world.>>

Chaney, Inc.: <<speaking to someone off camera that is apparently in his sleeve>> Quit stalling, Pinky! You know what we’re going to do. The same thing we do every night… try to take over the world! I’ve got my schemes in perfect astronomical conjunction with the miseries of the world. We must continue to propel a crescendo increase in the global warming that doesn't exist. There are pointless overseas wars that someone else has to be found to die for that still has to be instigated. We’ve got to continue the moving around of illicit stock piles of chemicals of mass destruction to emerge with during a haphazard press release so we are not left holding an empty bag next time. I won’t be able to make the next town hall meeting, I’ve got my annual deer hunting and shoot-a-friend-in-the-face trip planned and we’re going to have to keep working on removing the number 9 from American use. I want to strip them of the possibility of bringing up 9/11 one more time. Don't people see a milked to death cow when they see one? I made my bed, now I’m going to blow it up.

Scalia, Inc.: You are all amateurs. Our town hall meeting should be focused on a change of fashion for SCOTUS because I keep tripping on the god-damned hem every time I am reaching into my ass to pull out some lame argument about Law that has to be construed into the NEW RIGHT ANGLE, meaning 360 degree corporate entitlement, buried in filibuster meant to elude loophole elimination in the corporate tax bracket of the 0%. We’re so small, less than 0%, that we are virtually invisible. And that’s the way our bank accounts like it! We have to outlaw cursive handwriting behind the scenes, now that it has been taken out of schools, because we don't really need people trying to read the original documents of America's founding if we want to exclude their rights under consideration of OUR version of the Law. Besides, I want to bring back powdered wigs now that I have lost most of my hair. How come I have to go into history as one of the only painted bald guys on the bench?

……………………………………………….TUNE IN NEXT TIIME when (maybe) David Corn from Mother Jones will bring us a secret video tape of these perverse proceedings, like he did another time.

UPDATED 5 27 2013: LA VOTERS APPROVE: "Only people are people" resolution against corporate personhood. http://occupydemocrats.com/l-a-voters-approve-only-people-are-people-resolution-against-corporate-personhood/


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