I. Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations
Corporations are people, my friend... Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations
All people start out as children, and children usually enjoy bedtime stories to help them think about life and how to guide them as they grow up. Lessons are shared, to take into their dreams as they lay themselves down to rest. If, as Mitt Romeny declares, corporations are people, why should they not get their own bed time stories to help shape them into the people (corporations) they aspire to be? Below is a sample of list of corporation bedtime stories for the young ones.
Jack and the Bank Stock - FABLE
Young Jack starts with some magical seed money and watches a bank stock grow and
grow, climbing along it until he arrives in the land of economic giants. There
he finds a goose that lays golden tax loop eggs in off-shore accounts. Then Jack
sees all the other riches at his disposal and runs from country club to golf
course, brothel to Mitt fund raisers. But the singing harp must be stolen and
saved from all the Giant Regulators who would have the harp singing to them.
Follow Jack to see if he gets out of this one by running for President and
learning how to change all the rules in his favor.
Good-Bye
Moon - by Market-Wise Green
Every night, just like most
children, juvenile corporations must learn to say good night, as practice for
later exercises in saying good bye. This cheerful book helps corporations to say
good bye to everyday things without worrying about where they go. "Good bye,
Social Security," "Good bye, Unemployment," "Good bye, Health Care," and "Good
bye, 47% of voters who won't vote for corporations or their puppets." But don’t stop
there, Good bye, mountain tops, Good bye Gulf, Good bye clean air, Good bye
endangered species…these are just a few of the fun Good Byes young corporations
begin learning about. Come read this book to see more of the darling Good byes
juvenile corporations practice leaving behind before sleeping
peacefully.
One Slip, Two Slip, Pink Slip,
Blue Slip - Dr. Sous
All grown up corporations know that
firing people is one of the powers given to them when they have employees. This
story is like an early game to help young corporations normalize the rejection
they will one day force upon hundreds, if not thousands of people during their
successful corporate lives. Who will get these slips? Let's see: Some are glad
and some are sad and some are very, very bad. Some will travel near, some will
travel far, by bus or boat or even car. But where there're from or where they
be, is not important, you will see. We’ll watch them come, we see them go, but
most of all we watch them blow, fast or slow, high or low, they’re only there to
make us glow. And when we’re done we toss them out. And that’s what slips are
all about. .
Little
Boy Blue Collar & Other Nursery Rhymes
Little Boy Blue Collar come blow your horn,
we’ve had whistleblowers before in our
corn. Discredit, discredit, discredit, lie, lie, lie by the time the dust
settles, they’ll be motes in your eye. Where is the regulator who looks after
the sheep, he’s counting his money then going to sleep.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his workers
could eat no lean, and so between the two of them, Jack got a corporate lawyer
to keep him in the green.
Hey didde-diddle the corporation and the
fiddle, inflation jumped over the moon. The stockholders laughed to see such a
sport and the CEO ran away with the silver spoon.
‘Twas
the Night Before Outsourcing
Twas the night before outsourcing, and all
through the place,
Not
a dollar was stirring, not even its face.
The stocks were all hung on the vault
wall with care, in hope the CEO soon would be there.
The workers were nestled at home in their
beds, with visions of paychecks that hug in their heads. The Veeps in their
neckties, the secretaries in their heels, were leaving their parties with vodka
and squeals.
When out of an elevator there arose such a clatter, surveillance
cameras tuned in to record the whole matter. .Follow along with the antics of this story
as St. Nick comes in to determine who has been naughty and
nice…
Sleeping
Bane Corporation
At a gathering of investors, ready to
christen the new-born corporation, it was discovered that one very important,
and very mean, investor had mistakenly been left off the list of invitees. When
he arrived, he was filled with wrath and ready to lay a curse on little Sleeping
Bane. “One day, a stranger will come along, and using only his Mitt, he will
cause sleeping Bane to be fingered by a prick and fall into disrepute.” With
smoke and noxious bad-breath gases, the investor left his curse and the others
worried about the ill-fate that might befall this newest, little infant
corporation. Read all about how the Mitt showed up and fulfilled the curse.
Would Sleeping Bane ever recover? Would true love be able to save it from
complete embarrassment and unethical behavior?
Other
Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations Coming
Soon:
Goldilocks and the 3 Hostile Take-Overs,
- Corporations Poo, too. A Potty-Training Book for Toddler Corporations
- Little Corporation on the Prairie
- Horton Hears a Loop-Hole
- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stock
----------------------------**--------------------------**----------------------------**-------------------------
2. When corporations become people
They Are
or They Are Not
or They Are Not
and Then
They use masks and make-up
to conceal their earned faces
Poo poo- pouting
at themselves <O>
<O> When they face the mirror
seeing they can never really hide
the sneer lines, veining
into contempt lines
veining
into haughtiness pockets
depressed into their eyes
like the lines
tangling their
brain paths
in and out of lies and
truths
And understanding
no real value
Or difference
between the two.
The grown-up, agreed upon cultural lie
Starts
with the Santa Lie
So Santa judges them as so good that Santa rained toys upon
them
a n d k i n d
-uh f o r g o t
They wanted to be
at the CENTER of the SANTA CLUB, TOO.
They pounce upon
one another’s pallets with delectable sweetness, in beautifully crafted
pastries
Surrounding
Themselves
With
social agreements
Not to shatter the
illusion.
Do they know who they are, after they’ve crafted their
illusions
Corrupting delusions of fairness and goodness
Where
their rules say they always win
“The cosmetically deformed dancing to their
overproduction”
Such is the response to calls for accountability -
“Not it. I’m rubber, you’re glue.”
Their first
mistake was to forget that we can still see them
and the debased
cookie crumbs
Still skirting
their mouths
Stinking of their
vices
While they play
games
with living pieces
with living pieces
Today
----------------------------------------------And
cumulatively
W h i l e p l a n n i g f o r o u r f u t u r e s .
W h i l e p l a n n i g f o r o u r f u t u r e s .
And we count
ourselves
At least blessed
In having
a door
To close and
open
At our
discretion.
Truth or Lie.
We
choose.
We don’t have
to play with them.
VOTE
-------------------------*--------------------------*--------
3. If Corporations WERE people -
Their Townhall Meeting
“Corporations are people, my friend…” Crazy as it
sounds... But, what if they were? Could they have a say in passing laws to
guarantee their rights to civil unions? Would they ever break off in factions of
adolescent corporations questioning the smug, bloated wealth of their parents,
rebelliously, or would they fall in line and take those extra-curricular
off-shore-banking accounting courses? Would they be in favor of charter schools
to further segregationist ideals or would they work for peace in the community,
cleaving to Anti-Trust laws just to get back at their parents? I think you know.
Share this sneak peek into a townhall meeting that might occur in one such
reality and hear for yourself how they banter about each of their biggest
concerns:
Donald, Inc.: It is my firm belief that the words,
“You’re fired,” are among the most sexually charged words that could ever be
spoken by our kind. It demonstrates the type of exaggerated and exalted
entitlements possible, awarding the prowess of power while cropping
piddly-paychecks of broken and disillusioned people into historical references
in a pile of paperwork (begging for the illusion of food entitlements that can
be held up for up to 45 days.) It is efficient, it diminishes consumer options,
helping to drive up the price for everyone else. It’s a win-win solution for all
of us here tonight. I know business! <<slams fist down powerfully on desk
despite large stoned pinky ring>> It runs in my golden
veins!
Mitt, Inc.: Well, you can worry about any segment
of the market if you want, but I deal in high-end consumerism and that means
that at least 47% of that market is dead to me anyway. Another significant
percentage will spend beyond their limits, allowing us to accrue necessary
business tax write-offs, gut their assets, decimate their community and still
make "T-off" by 4:00. If we take this route, we can be more certain that we will
keep our money from supporting any government that might have the balls to try
to tie corporate hands. We did, after all, rise to the top of this coffee like
the cream we are! <<secretly, and all the while, wanting to get home where
he could belch and scratch freely, wanting to be away from annoying and
fictitious corporate courtesy. A weasel who would backstab and eat his own kind
as easily as he chews them and spits them out.>>
Sara, Inc.: First of all, I would like to offer
embarrassing discussions about the vagina that will deepen the taboo on
conversations about “legitimate” rape and the murder of unborn American
consumers and labor workers. We won’t want them to live as well as us, (I mean,
how could they) but we never intended to get rid of all of them. Who will wash
my dishes and cut my grass? No, no, sillies, let's be mavericky about it. So
far, our plans are only to roust out the
red people that came with the land we got by clever coupe’. They keep
aggravating us about silly things like pipe lines and wild life. I mean, what
good is wild life if you can’t eat it or make a coat and muffs out of them? Or,
who could hate pipes when there are so many profits running through them? I like
riding in helicopters, shooting wolves, and looking at Russia from my back
porch, so I don’t have time for too much more chit-chat. I might just quit
…
Ryan, Inc.: <<putting on chef’s hat>> I
like what’s cooking right now. We have confusion and mayhem over guns laws,
civil union blocking, and a possible overturn of the 1965 Civil Rights Act.
<<putting on military uniform hat>> VICTORY! The War is Over! But
the profits from overseas arms treaties are going to pay for my next “slumming
excursion” so I can prove that I can say, “100% for the
cameras.” Wash that plate, lift that bale-out! ha ha ha hiccup! <<Putting
on Jason Hockey Mask, eyes still narrowing behind it to scare himself for
effect>> If we can keep on the happy mask until the last minute, they
don’t see us coming when we wear our Halloween masks. We can declare a code RED
and ... well, red, and we can gouge freedom so much more and we can KILL KILL
KILL progress under the Black President. <<raising a pirate binocular to
his eye” I can see the future, and we already won the election.
Murdock, Inc.: OK, all that is well and good,
people, but we still have to destroy a Black President and you are all sitting
around and talking about party games. I had to throw a going away party for a
big chunk of my assets and I am still waiting for the fucking return! In
reality, we must be willing to lose some money, billions and billions of Dr.
Evil seed money. We have to burn holes into the pockets of crooked politicians
so we can plant some good news or bad news depending on their compliance ratio.
We know who we bankroll, but it is our silent, evil mob right to present as
little information as possible about it. I want to get some pizza. Call citizen
Schnattner, Inc. and see if we wants to do another busines promotion to only us
again...a private show that comes with nude women, inc. who will jump out of a
cake... <<psyche! I'm only saying that to tempt Mitt, Inc. into another
crazy publicity stunt that will stop people from asking questions about what he
was doing behind closed doors with Israel's Kinnessett, or if his dog really
shit all over the car beause of the turkey he stole off the counter or if it was
over the latest public poll on the guy bankrolling his way of life in his crate
from the top of his strange and scary rolling world.>>
Chaney, Inc.: <<speaking to someone off
camera that is apparently in his sleeve>> Quit stalling, Pinky! You know
what we’re going to do. The same thing we do every night… try to take over the
world! I’ve got my schemes in perfect astronomical conjunction with the miseries
of the world. We must continue to propel a crescendo increase in the global
warming that doesn't exist. There are pointless overseas wars that someone else
has to be found to die for that still has to be instigated. We’ve got to
continue the moving around of illicit stock piles of chemicals of mass
destruction to emerge with during a haphazard press release so we are not left
holding an empty bag next time. I won’t be able to make the next town hall
meeting, I’ve got my annual deer hunting and shoot-a-friend-in-the-face trip
planned and we’re going to have to keep working on removing the number 9 from
American use. I want to strip them of the possibility of bringing up 9/11 one
more time. Don't people see a milked to death cow when they see one? I made my
bed, now I’m going to blow it up.
Scalia, Inc.: You are all amateurs. Our town hall
meeting should be focused on a change of fashion for SCOTUS because I keep
tripping on the god-damned hem every time I am reaching into my ass to pull out
some lame argument about Law that has to be construed into the NEW RIGHT ANGLE,
meaning 360 degree corporate entitlement, buried in filibuster meant to elude
loophole elimination in the corporate tax bracket of the 0%. We’re so small,
less than 0%, that we are virtually invisible. And that’s the way our bank
accounts like it! We have to outlaw cursive handwriting behind the scenes, now
that it has been taken out of schools, because we don't really need people
trying to read the original documents of America's founding if we want to
exclude their rights under consideration of OUR version of the Law. Besides, I
want to bring back powdered wigs now that I have lost most of my hair. How come
I have to go into history as one of the only painted bald guys on the
bench?
……………………………………………….TUNE IN NEXT TIIME when (maybe) David
Corn from Mother Jones will bring us a secret video tape of these perverse
proceedings, like he did another time.
UPDATED 5 27 2013: LA VOTERS APPROVE: "Only people are people" resolution against corporate personhood. http://occupydemocrats.com/l-a-voters-approve-only-people-are-people-resolution-against-corporate-personhood/
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About the Author:
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/nancy-bell/30/231/855
UPDATED 5 27 2013: LA VOTERS APPROVE: "Only people are people" resolution against corporate personhood. http://occupydemocrats.com/l-a-voters-approve-only-people-are-people-resolution-against-corporate-personhood/
VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE vote vote vote vote
About the Author:
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/nancy-bell/30/231/855
