Corporations are People, too!: Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations
All people start out as children, and children usually enjoy bedtime stories to help them think about life and how to guide them as they grow up. Lessons are shared, to take into their dreams as they lay themselves down to rest. If, as Mitt Romeny declares, that corporations are people, too, why should they not get their own bed time stories to help shape them into the people (corporations) they aspire to be? Below is a sample of list of corporation bedtime stories for the young ones.
*new releases
*Animal Farm, or why I have to keep hurting the animals - by George O-Well
Disgruntled animals do NOT have to be fed on time to keep them from trying to take over. Tasers, pens, drones, drugs, and rabid abuse will keep the "animals" so beaten-down, that they will appreciate slop when you do toss it down. How to BULLY the under-trodden and still stay in charge. Might Kills Accountability Issues.
*How the Grinch Stole Christmas, then sold it back - by Dr. Sue, Sue, Sues
Christmas, one of the biggest money makers of the year, should be grabbed with the least amount of money and extol the greatest profit by exploiting hopes, dreams and value of a person. Profane gifts, weapons and sugar offer the best bang for your investment buck. If anyone interferes with your strategies to bloat profits, tie them up in court and sue, sue, sue. Tips for underhanded ways to drink in cash from consumers from the cradle to the grave.
Jack and the Bank Stock - FABLE
Young Jack starts with some magical seed money and watches a bank stock grow and grow, climbing along it until he arrives in the land of economic giants. There he finds a goose that lays golden tax loop eggs in off-shore accounts. Then Jack sees all the other riches at his disposal and runs from country club to golf course, brothel to Mitt fund raisers. But the singing harp must be stolen and saved from all the Giant Regulators who would have the harp singing to them. Follow Jack to see if he gets out of this one by running for President and learning how to change all the rules in his favor.
Good-Bye Moon - by Market-Wise Green
Every night, just like most children, juvenile corporations must learn to say good night, as practice for later exercises in saying good bye. This cheerful book helps corporations to say good bye to everyday things without worrying about where they go. "Good bye, Social Security," "Good bye, Unemployment," "Good bye, Health Care," and "Good bye, 47% of voters who vote for corporations or their puppets." But don’t stop there, Good bye, mountain tops, Good bye Gulf, Good bye clean air, Good bye endangered species…these are just a few of the fun Good Byes young corporations begin learning about. Come read this book to see more of the darling Good byes juvenile corporations practice leaving behind before sleeping peacefully.
One Slip, Two Slip, Pink Slip, Blue Slip - Dr. Sous
All grown up corporations know that firing people is one of the powers given to them when they have employees. This story is like an early game to help young corporations normalize the rejection they will one day force upon hundreds, if not thousands of people during their successful corporate lives. Who will get these slips? Let's see: Some are glad and some are sad and some are very, very bad. Some will travel near, some will travel far, by bus or boat or even car. But where there're from or where they be, is not important, you will see. We’ll watch them come, we see them go, but most of all we watch them blow, fast or slow, high or low, they’re only there to make us glow. And when we’re done we toss them out. And that’s what slips are all about. .
Little Boy Blue Collar & Other Nursery Rhymes
Little Boy Blue Collar come blow your horn, we’ve had whistleblowers before in our corn. Discredit, discredit, discredit, lie, lie, lie by the time the dust settles, they’ll be motes in your eye. Where is the regulator who looks after the sheep, he’s counting his money then going to sleep.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his workers could eat no lean, and so between the two of them, Jack got a corporate lawyer to keep him in the green.
Hey didde-diddle the corporation and the fiddle, inflation jumped over the moon. The stockholders laughed to see such a sport and the CEO ran away with the silver spoon.
‘Twas the Night Before Outsourcing
Twas the night before outsourcing, and all through the place,
Not a dollar was stirring, not even its face. The stocks were all hung on the vault wall with care, in hope the CEO soon would be there. The workers were nestled at home in their beds, with visions of paychecks that hug in their heads. The Veeps in their neckties, the secretaries in their heels, were leaving their parties with vodka and squeaks. When out of an elevator there arose such a clatter, surveillance cameras tuned in to record the whole matter. .Follow along with the antics of this story as St. Nick comes in to determine who has been naughty and nice…
Sleeping Bane Corporation
At a gathering of investors, ready to christen the new-born corporation, it was discovered that one very important, and very mean, investor had mistakenly been left off the list of invitees. When he arrived, he was filled with wrath and ready to lay a curse on little Sleeping Bane. “One day, a stranger will come along, and using only his Mitt, he will cause sleeping Bane to be fingered by a prick and fall into disrepute.” With smoke and noxious bad-breath gases, the investor left his curse and the others worried about the ill-fate that might befall this newest, little infant corporation. Read all about how the Mitt showed up and fulfilled the curse. Would Sleeping Bane ever recover? Would true love be able to save it from complete embarrassment and unethical behavior?
Other Bedtime Stories for Juvenile Corporations Coming Soon…
Goldilocks and the 3 Hostile Take-Overs
Corporations Poo, too. A Potty-Training Book for Toddler Corporations
Little Corporation on the Prairie
Horton Hears a Loop-Hole
